Lekhny composition -30-May-2022

MY FIRST MISTAKE

Swathi M

Ph.D. Research Scholar

Department of English

Directorate of Distance Education

Kamaraj University

Madurai -625020

Email: mercyhelen38@gmail.com

My birth caused a dynamic shift in my relatives' attitudes, 

and the mood shifted from excitement to frustration.

My initial expressions were identical

 to those of every one of my relatives in the hospital dorm, 

with the exception of my mother,

 who was the only one to cry with delight.

People in my neighbourhood raised me with love and care 

when I was younger, but now that

 I'm older, I'm afraid even by their gaze.

I'm already familiar with the location 

of each sewer drain in the neighbourhood, 

but the newspaper informed me of

 the municipality's decision to alter lampposts.

My mother responded sternly that day 

when I initially left home to pursue my higher education, 

defiantly hiding her expressions.

Her rolling tears seemed to be moving faster 

than the train that day, and they became 

uncontrollable like the monsoon rains.

She contacted me numerous times 

a day after that, with less detailed chats.

Her sense of terror, 

not her love for me, won out.

My would-be husband had to be weighed 

on a scale of material possessions
before entering into the sacred marriage union.

It is said that a parent feels relieved 

when his daughter marries, 

but the debt he was now owing was justly equal to his slaughter.

Looking back on my life,

 I realise that each moment was spent

 at the expense of others, forcing me

 to recall what was My First Mistake?